


Information Overload

by Rioghna



Series: 7 Days, 7 Prompts [5]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Enemies and Friends!verse, F/M, Humor, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3446771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rioghna/pseuds/Rioghna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Five, Seven Days, Seven Prompts:  tinuviel_undomiel prompted:  Enemies and Friends prompt: Belle is fascinated by the internet but is confused by some of the salacious stuff she finds (LOL I have a dirty mind)</p><p>This is the first prompt I have gotten for Enemies and Friends, takes place post fic</p><p>Tomorrow, another one from the world of 'Daddy's Little Girl'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Information Overload

Information Overload

"Are you certain, Sweetheart?" Rumplestiltskin asked. He'd never been keen on this world's 'technology', he just didn't trust it the way he trusted things he understood, like magic. But if Belle wished, he most certainly wouldn't stop her. 

"I know the curse gave me the knowledge of it, but it's all artificial, even more than the rest since I have never actually run one. You go on, I'll be fine," she told him as she sat down behind his desk in his home office facing the slim machine. 

"Very well," he replied. He pulled out his wallet, however and got out a credit card, which he set on the desk. "In case you wish to do some shopping." Then he leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss before leaving. 

Belle had been accompanying him to the shop most days following the lifting of the curse, but they both knew she needed to find her own way in this world. As much as he might like it, they could not just disappear into their own little world. "Well, not completely," Rumple reminded himself with a smile. Those first couple of days after the curse broke and they had admitted their feelings for one another, they had just closed the door and essentially told the world to bugger off. Still. With those pleasant thoughts he went off to a long day of deals and possibly even selling a thing or two. 

 

Gold was just closing up for the day when his mobile phone rang. "Belle love, I was just closing up," he said, his voice brightening considerably.

"Rumple, could you pick some dinner up?" she asked. "I'm sorry to ask but I just got so caught up..."

"It's alright," he reassured her. "How many times do I have to tell you that you that you don't have to cook for me anymore? Now, Granny's, Tony's or The Magic Carpet?" he asked naming the three restaurants closest to the shop. 

"Hmmm." She gave it some thought. "Magic Carpet. I'm feeling like finger food in the lounge?" she said just a little questioningly. 

"Finger food it is." He liked finger food, and the results as it invariably led to other things.

 

When he arrived home with the bags of food, he called out to Belle, and was only a little surprised to hear her voice coming from his office. "I'll be there in a moment," she called. Rumplestiltskin unpacked dinner, transferring the fresh pita to plates. It was all made by a lovely woman from Agrabah, her family had the misfortune to be visiting relatives in George's kingdom when the curse fell. Personally Rumplestiltskin considered it a win all around, the whole family was together and it was the best Agrabahan cuisine in...well the only Agrabahan cuisine in this or any other town in this world. There were only so many burgers an imp could eat. 

"Wine?" he asked as she came through looking a little tired, but her eyes alight with all that she had learned. 

"Ummm," she replied with a smile and a kiss. "I learned so much today but there is so much more, like a library but all in one machine, amazing."

"So has it replaced your books then, in your heart?" 

"Oh, never. You can't lay on the sofa or curl up in the window seat with the computer. Also, there is a lot of things that don't seem to be true, or maybe there are a lot of things that just aren't labeled as fiction? Is that a style? Anyway, I have so many questions. Can I?" 

"Certainly," he said. 

 

The next night was the same and the one after. His love had always been a voracious reader, but he was starting to worry that it was turning into a dangerous obsession. She had filled two legal pads with question and answers, and he was starting to find it both alarming and annoying. Belle hadn't even suggested going to the shop with him. That a machine could so captivate his love's attention was starting to make him think murderous thoughts about the blasted thing. 

"Belle," he called out as he came in. There was no answer. That wasn't like her. "Belle," he called again. He set down the takeaway, (Granny's tonight, again) and made his way to his office. Belle was staring at the computer in a blend of fascination and horror that made him wonder exactly what she had found. "Belle," he said, this time from the doorway. She jumped and blushed. There was a look on her face that he just couldn't quite place, a mixture of guilt and something...

"Rumple, I...I didn't hear you come in. I..."

"Belle, are you alright?" he asked, immediately concerned. Rumplestiltskin wasn't exactly certain what she had been researching, to be honest. Her interest seemed to wander a great deal, while she had many questions, some were grouped together in topics, but many were just random. (Why is he called Big Foot, wouldn't he need the normal number of feet to walk properly? Why is it a driveway when you park the car on it and is a parkway a place where you park then?) But now he was wondering. Had she found something that concerned her? What if she had found something on one of those psychology websites and decided they should separate? He tried not to let his fear get ahead of his knowledge.

"I'm fine, I just...Ruby told me about these websites, for...lingerie..." she paused. "I found a lot of things about...well, about sex, and different...sex things..."

He breathed a little sigh of relief, she was hardly going to be looking at lingerie if she was leaving him, would she? But he waited for her to continue. Honestly, it wasn't something he was accustomed to, but if Belle wanted to talk...well. It was a strange dichotomy, even in the old world, where everyone was familiar with the facts. When you lived in a one room house, it was hardly something you could hide and then there were the farm animals, but it wasn't something people talked about. It just kind of happened. Rumplestiltskin hoped that she was not dissatisfied with their current...well whatever it was that they had. Perhaps it was just like the other things, she was curious. Insatiable curiosity was probably the defining trait that made his lovely lady who she was, after all. 

Clearly, she read something in his look because she put a hand on his arm. "It's not that there is anything wrong, I just...there is all this information, there are stories...there are even pictures!" she tried to explain. "It's all so much...we didn't have any of this at home, not even in books, at least..."

He nodded. Well, there were books, but of course Belle had never seen them. He thought briefly about a particularly erotic tome on sexual magic that he had gotten as part of a deal once. When Belle had come, he had been careful to hide it under the mattress of his bed after he noticed her tendency to read anything that came near her, and while she probably couldn't understand the language it was written in, it had been heavily illustrated. There was no shame in it, he was a red blooded...er imp, well close enough. Still, this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. "Well, I will do my best to answer, love, but I'm hardly an expert, you know."

"Oh good," she said with relief. "I thought you wouldn't... you know you can be a little reluctant. Anyway, let's get dinner and I can start." He agreed and she picked up the ever present notepad. As the two of them left the office for the kitchen she looked down at her list. "I found references to some things thats too, but no explanations. So, what exactly is a 'golden shower'?"

"I think I need a drink," he replied. 

 

An hour later, a very long hour, dinner had been consumed and Rumplestiltskin had answered some incredibly awkward questions (and drunk two glasses of very fine scotch). "So people do that to each other deliberately?" she asked, looking at him, shocked. "And they enjoy it?" Belle shuddered.

"So I am given to understand, I've not had a desire to..." he replied. Not that people hadn't assumed that his personal tastes were even darker, and he encouraged it, if only to keep them guessing. Still, there were some aspects of sexual relations that he thought he would never be called on to explain, especially not to the woman he loved.

"Certainly not," she said, appalled and leaned in closer to him. "There are all these things, good, bad, and...well... Did they do all of this in our world?"

"That I can't say. Some of it certainly. But people hardly called me to discuss their sexual exploits, unless something was wrong," he said trying to lighten the mood that had fallen. "I could tell you a few tales of deals made. Let us just say, it is amazing what men will give to make up for their sexual inadequacies. But tell me this love?"

"Hmmm," she asked, snuggling closer to him. The evening had gone from the bizarre to the merely unusual (you know there are sites out there where people write erotic stories about their favourite characters from books and movies?) and back again more than once, and he thought his love was a bit overwhelmed. 

"Did you find anything that...appealed to you?" he said carefully. Not that it mattered, he was perfectly content with what they had, but if she wanted to explore, he was more than willing to try anything, well almost anything, but most of those things had appalled her too. 

Belle looked up at him and for a moment he thought he had gone too far. "I did," she said carefully. "Those are on a different page." She blushed. "Well, pages."

"Perhaps," he said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "We could go upstairs and get started?"

"It could take some time," she warned him with a smile. "You know I like to be thorough in my research."

"I'm sure I will manage, sweetheart."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to tinuviel_undomiel for the prompt and bardicraven for the beta. She is also responsible for the Golden Showers reference but not in the way anyone would think (I promise, it came up in connection with operetta as I was reading the prompt fill). This fic is not meant as Kink shame. There are a lot of things out there, and they are not all for everyone, but it was meant as a humorous look at a very sheltered woman's take on the internet. Please enjoy


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